the brownian motion of a photoplankton

//of breastfeeding and fulfilling a promise

2009-02-24T15:05:00.000+08:00

Two Februaries ago, Janice gave me an anniversary gift - an easel, three canvasses, a set of acrylic paint, and a set of brushes. Delighted with the prospect of reviving my art club days, I promised I would use it to paint a portrait of her. Two years passed and that gift was left untouched, with all the things that have happened since then.

Last night, as I quietly watched Janice nurse our little Gyro, I had a sudden impulse to capture that moment. I have never used acrylic before (I would probably even spell the word incorrectly half the time) but after a couple of hours of fumbling with the brushes, and making a mess inside our bedroom, it was finally done.

Janice and I have been successful with pursuing exclusive breastfeeding for Gyro, but it was not without challenges. With family members who have never successfully nursed their newborns, we were under a lot of pressure especially at nights when Gyro's cries would seem to go on forever. With a lot of prayer, and a strong resolve to do what we know is best for our son, we are proud to say that Gyro, now on his 3rd month of discovering the world, has never tasted a drop of water nor formula milk. And though we are still in the process of perfecting the art of understanding what his cries meant, none of those have so far been because he was sick.

I am proud of what Janice has done for our little boy- for all those nights she has gone without any sleep just to nurse our growing child, for all the sacrifices she continues to make - all in the name of raising a healthy and happy little maton. And the least I could do for her was fulfill a promise I made 2 years ago, and in my far-from-being-Van Gogh way, honor the best wife one could ever ask for, the best mother a child could ever love.

//two babies born 32 years apart

2009-01-21T17:11:00.006+08:00

This is Gyro on the day he was born....

And this photo was taken sometime in August, 1976. Can you guess who this is?

//to our little bundle of love

2009-01-20T12:06:00.001+08:00

I can still remember that day we learned that you were coming into our life. What was supposed to be just another Monday morning turned out to be the start of the most beautiful journey we will ever take. Suddenly, it was easier for us to smile, and it was easier for us to dream big. Suddenly, every corner of our house, every place we go to, is filled with images of you, running around on fragile little feet, clapping your hands with joy.

I will never forget that moment when I first caught a glimpse of you. I was holding your mother's hand, and then, for a split second, time froze, and I was looking at your foot. And then, a loud cry. Nothing in this world could ever compare to the sight of you - our little angel, our blessing from above.

Now, you are here with us, and it still feels unreal to me - how I could spend one whole day holding you in my arms, how I could never grow tired of waiting for you to smile in the middle of your baby dreams, how just watching you sleep makes our love grow even stronger.

//an angel named Hannah Ysabelle

2008-10-30T20:37:00.001+08:00

Last Sunday, Janice and I met an angel.

Her name is Hannah Ysabelle.

Hannah is a beautiful 14 month old baby girl. She loves to dance, she loves having her photographs taken, she loves meeting and playing with new friends. If not for the strange strap around her neck, you wouldn't think she has a rare and lifetime condition.

Hannah was born with a condition called Congenital Central Hypoventilation Syndrome or CCHS. She has trouble breathing when she's awake and she is unable to breathe when she's asleep. This is because the nerve that takes over her breathing when she's sleeping is not functioning properly. Because of this, doctors had to cut a hole through her throat, insert a tube and attach it to a respirator to keep her breathing. Hannah spent the first 9 months of her life in the hospital, and though she is now at home with her parents, she is still unable to go outdoors and enjoy the things that kids her age should be experiencing. She is using a mechanical respirator at home, which her parents Joan and Carlo rent, and she has to be watched at all times to make sure she doesn't accidentally remove or play with the tube on her throat especially when she is sleeping. Her parents are now raising money to buy her a portable ventilator by selling rosary bracelets and 5-decade rosaries.

We came across this story sometime in September, a few days away from our scheduled congenital anomaly scan for Gyro. The next Sunday, a day after we got very good results from the scan, we again read about her story from the newspapers. We knew that this was God speaking to us.

We contacted Joan, and offered to help her sell the rosaries. We spread the word to our friends, and got a very good response. This we considered to be Gyro's gift to Hannah. This was our real endeavor as a family.

We visited Hannah at their home last Sunday, and were lucky that Hannah was awake. Joan's mom kindly brought Hannah out of her room so we could meet her, and we couldn't believe how such a small bundle of joy could contain so much happiness, so much love, and so much hope. What equally inspired us was getting to know her amazing parents and her loving lola. I learned that Joan is a contemporary of mine from the UP College of Engineering. Carlo told us how long it took before her condition was correctly diagnosed and we can only imagine how difficult it must have been for them as doctors gave them one diagnosis after the other, and as they heard a cocktail of bad and good news only to see them fall apart, one after the other.

Hannah instanly made a connection with Janice. We believe that inside Janice's womb Gyro is jumping with joy, for being with a wonderful family, for being in their wonderful home. Hannah has the most amazing smile, and though we badly wanted to carry her in our arms, we had to restrain ourselves, afraid that she might be more fragile than she appears. The only clue you would have of her unique condition is her inability to laugh out of glee, as she needs a few more years to get learn how to use her vocal chords.

Knowing Hannah and her parents has changed us, as individuals, as parents, as Christians. Joan never forgets to thank us for the little help we are able to extend to Hannah. The truth is, I believe Hannah has helped us more than we will ever be able to help her. Through her, we witnessed first hand how a parent's unconditional love for a child is more powerful than despair. Hannah has shown us the true meaning of living, and because of her, our own faith has grown. Because of her, having Gyro in our life has become more meaningful by a thousandfold.

************************************

More about Hannah here: http://hannahysabelle.multiply.com/

Buy Rosaries for Hannah and include her in your petitions. These rosaries and rosary bracelets are the most meaningful gifts you can give this Christmas. http://hannahysabelle.multiply.com/photos/album/20/rosaries_for_hannah

You can also order these rosaries through us. We will be glad to pick up your orders on your behalf. Just email me for more information.

Our Shell friends may also buy rosaries during the upcoming Shell Day in December. Look for our booth in the bazaar.

//10 weeks to go

2008-10-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

25 October 2008.

Janice and I scheduled a 4D ultrasound scan on this day, and we just couldn't wait to get another snapshot of our little boy. So after our pre-natal visit with our OB, we went straight to Glorietta to wait for the clinic to call us for our turn. So at 2:30 pm, we found ourselves trying to convince little Gyro to take off his hand from his face. Let's just say that our baby wasn't in the mood for socializing that afternoon.

But just as we were about to give up, after what seemed like an eternity of changing positions, playing all sorts of music to get him going, and a lot of pleading/bribery from my end, Gyro finally gave us a glimpse of his face, and showed us a smile as I was calling his name.

Game! Sino'ng kamukha?

//countdown!

2008-10-27T10:29:00.001+08:00

Interested in pregnancy? Read about pregnancy symptoms
and find baby names.
Interested in parenting tips?
Upload baby photos and learn about breastfeeding.

//WE Magazine's Beautiful Weddings 2008

2008-10-14T17:56:00.000+08:00

Do check out Wedding Essentials Magazine's Beautiful Weddings 2008. On pages 158-160 is a secret I've been trying to keep from my friends - my article about our wedding! We got a confrimation that our story was selected only when we got a copy of the magazine.

**********************************************************************************

(PRESS RELEASE) Who doesn’t like a beautiful wedding? Whether you’re planning one, or are already married, few can resist the allure of looking at photographs of lovely wedding details and reading the stories of how these lovely weddings were put together.

People read wedding magazines for inspiration, and Beautiful Weddings, from the same team that is responsible for elegant Wedding Essentials {WE}, the bestselling wedding magazine, and Wedding Essentials: Destination Weddings presents the 2008 edition of Beautiful Weddings.

Beautiful Weddings features tips on styling the wedding entourage, menus to savor, real bride makeovers, and even advice for plus-size brides using real plus-size brides to be.

But the heart of Beautiful Weddings are the wedding stories. Over 200 wonderful entries were submitted for consideration, and with difficulty, the {WE} team, headed by quintessential editor Marbee Shing-Go and talented art director Cynthia Bauzon-Arre, finally chose the 30 weddings which best embodied the spirit of Beautiful Weddings. With touching stories, inspiring ideas, and lovely details, each wedding story was unique in itself.

An additional surprise, a first in the history of Philippine publishing, were the 30 individual covers of Beautiful Weddings (in addition to the regular cover), each featuring one of the 30 weddings. Talk about a memento you can’t get anywhere else! Couples featured in Beautiful Weddings 2008 each received their own copy of their customized covers; as a special service to each couple, their relatives and friends can order these covers through the couple themselves.

****************

Snagged from http://www.weddingsatwork.com/wawnewsblog/2008/10/14/whoa-wes-beautiful-weddings-2008-has-30-different-covers/

Here's a copy of our own cover. Don't have a copy of it yet though.

//national family day

2008-09-22T16:29:00.000+08:00

22 September 2008, National Family Day - An initiative that encourages parents to sit down to have dinner with their children. According to a study, children who regularly eat dinner with their families are less prone to substance abuse, and are more likely to have better grades.

I guess it doesn't hurt to start early, so this evening, I decided to cook something special for Janice and our little boy Gyro. I found the recipe in the latest Yummy Magazine, but thought I'd do something different by marinating the chicken in a mixture of lemon, mandarin orange, white wine and garlic powder, using rosemary as an additional spice, and adding sliced peaches as sidings. I call it citrus glazed lemon chicken.

Now Janice is having a little problem with trying to stick to her weight gain plan. Each time we visit our OB, we get reprimanded for exceeding the month's weight gain target.

We think we know why. =D

//thank You

2008-09-14T19:06:00.000+08:00

... for keeping our baby boy healthy.

... that we finally have a nickname for baby gabriel eduardo.

...we are humbled by Your perfect love for imperfect beings like us.

//bliss

2008-09-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

//blast from a birthday past

2008-08-11T07:48:00.000+08:00

Twenty five birthdays ago:

Thanks to Tita Ced for posting these photos!

//kids say the darndest things

2008-07-09T10:34:00.000+08:00

My 5 year old niece Bea recently surprised her dad, my younger brother, with a greeting card last Fathers' Day. His dad is a real disciplinarian, he can make the kids behave properly with a stare. But despite his stern nature, the kids have way of getting back at him and melting his heart with stuff like this.

Kids say the darndest things. =)

//ang santol, bow.

2008-06-13T15:52:00.000+08:00

isang araw naisipan namin ni janice na maglakad.

sabi ko isusuot ko ang aking 80's attire.

naglakad kami nang naglakad at pinagmasdan namin ang mga puno. andami palang puno sa loob ng compound. may duhat, may mangga, may ipil, at marami pang iba na hindi ko alam ang tawag.

maya-maya nakakita kami ng isang napakalaking puno, punong-puno ng bunga!

puno ng santol! at dahil buntis ang asawa ko, sinubukan kong mamitas. andaming bunga!

tingnan mo nga naman. halos sampung taon na akong hindi nakakakain ng santol.

alam nyo bang nakakabading pala ang santol? eto ang nangyari sa kin kinabukasan, habang nagdo-donate ng dugo sa red cross.

masisisi nyo ba ako, ang laki kaya ng krayom.

//celebrating father's day

2008-06-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

To my yet-to-be-born child,

No words can express how your mom and I felt the first time we saw you. In a cocktail of emotions, our first glimpse of you was simply unforgettable - you were so tiny, probably the size of a strawberry, yet there in the middle of your silence, was your heart beating fast - a sign that we have done a good job so far at making sure you'd grow healthy. Then suddenly, you moved, and it was as if you were greeting us too. It was as if you knew we were watching you.

An 8-week old wonder, a gift from above, an answered prayer. Suddenly our universe shifted and your mom and I now live each day for you.

We're counting the days until we will finally meet.

Until then I hope you won't mind if I celebrate Father's Day next Sunday.

With Love,
Daddy

//real men cry at weddings

2008-03-08T05:09:00.000+08:00

One of the things you learn is that some events highlight the things that are easily taken for granted.

Such is the case of our wedding. I am now convinced that what makes our wedding so beautiful, wasn't just how Janice and I experienced it, but what it meant to people who love us.

One of these people is a friend we fondly call Stip. Stip was not the kind of friend that you might call as someone who is simply "a friend of the couple" because Janice and I have built a this fondness with him separately.

Stip is a complex individual hence it is easy to misinterpret his motives and his intentions, what with his unconventional mix of interests. A guy who does a lot of intellectually challenging (read:nerdy) work for the refinery, he is also the guy you need to liven up any party. You'll either find him partying or climbing a mountain or shooting plastic pellets during weekends, but despite his inclination for the active life, he is the kind of guy who'll take you out for a drink to talk about your heartaches. Simply put, he's the kind of guy you can depend on, rain or shine.

Janice and I have always thought him to be mentos (hard on the outside, soft on the inside), but it was only after he posted his own personal account of our wedding in his blog that we got some proof to reinforce this. It feels great to know that our wedding truly has become an event not only for the bride and groom, but for those people who have known each of us as separate individuals, and who have been a part of our journey as a couple.

Stip is celebrating his birthday next week. I remember a time when we always gave each other small gifts on the other's birthday. While I may never be able to express my gratitude for his friendship, I am hoping that with these words, I am able to at least let him know that it is an honor to be the first couple to ever make him cry at their wedding.

Happy Birthday Bro. =)

//our wedding through the eyes of friends

2008-02-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

We just got back from our honeymoon in El Nido, Palawan (more on this later) and if there was one thing that made us feel better about coming home from paradise, it would be the thought that we would finally get the chance to read Dyoks' blog post about our wedding. With only Chug's onsite video to help reminisce our big day, this was something we were looking forward to.

Dyoks is was colleague and mentor back in my Samsung days. Although I've known him from Pisay, there was something about him that sort of intimidated me and kept my distance. That was until we became friends, and learned how he's a mentos. Tough on the outside, soft on the inside. And I mean this in a good way. He's a fellow weddings @ work "bayani" - that's his term for w@wie grooms who were active in the mailing list. Dyoks is an avid blogger, and a loving husband to Selle, who herself has a very warm personality. They both enjoy exploring the world's sights and sounds, and beautifully capturing these experiences in their point-and-shoot camera.

Speaking of cameras, this brings me to the second highlight of my day. A pleasant surprise was waiting for me, as I opened my internet email. Stip, my fellow bachelor in Tabangao, batchmate in the Shell Team Tryouts, and for awhile, my weekend partner for out of town trips and movies at the mall; has posted his own photos from the wedding. He has been honing his photography skills for the past couple of years, and we have been one of his favorite subjects. In fact, he willingly spent a weekend in Tabangao to do a pre-wedding photo shoot with us. In a way that none of us expected, he has become a vital part of our wedding preparations, and the last 11 months have seen us develop a more meaningful friendship with him. Proof: he has created a sub-album dedicated solely for everything related to our wedding, and with one of our best men, Volt, oprganized the pre-wedding party which the bachelors threw for us.

Janice and I prepared for the wedding for 11 months. In those 11 months, we have met so many new people, found new friends in our wedding partners, and deepened our relationship with existing ones.

//onsite wedding video

2008-02-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

the onsite video, by chug cadiogan of reel deal video, can be viewed here:

http://reeldealvideo.com/blog/?p=206

thanks chug! we'll see you in may!

Confessions of a Hands-on Groom

2008-02-13T08:37:00.000+08:00

Three days to go.

You'd think that by now, I'd start to get cold feet. On the contrary,
I'm looking forward to our wedding day.

Although Janice and I started preparing for our wedding day a little
over 11 months ago, my own personal preparations have begun much earlier
than that Sunday morning in Tagaytay when I asked her to marry me .
Around two months before I popped the question, I have studied the ins
and outs of buying diamonds, and secretly searched for the perfect
engagement ring. Add to this the "buwelo" I had to gather before I
started to make my move, I'd say I have been preparing myself for almost
2 years now.

Come to think of it, I have been preparing for this wedding the last
thirty one years.

I will never be able to recall a defining moment in our relationship
when I was finally sure that Janice would be the person I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with. It was not a divine sign, nor a
dramatic moment, nor a magical night underneath the stars, that led me
to this conviction. In between the fears, the tears, the uncontrollable
fits of laughter we've shared, it just grew, and I knew, that our happy
beginning is not a question of "if" but merely a question of when. As
we nurtured our relationship, I was starting to pack my bags, preparing
to take the train that will take me to a place called marital bliss.

Preparing for a wedding is an adventure. Primarily because it is always
your first time, and you will never be ready for it. You simply jump
into the darkness, and learn then ropes along the way.

Weddings have traditionally been the bride's kind of thing. But having
known a couple of male friends who themselves got their hands dirty with
the bridal DIY glue, I was somehow encouraged that there is nothing
wrong with me for being excited with all of these. I am proud to say
that I am a hands-on groom. I was the one who found my bride's make-up
artist, discussed the design of our unity candles with our online
vendor, surfed the net for the perfect venue for our prenuptial
pictorials, and a lot more, to the point that Janice claims I have done
90% of the work.

Sure, wedding preparations are fun. But the truth is, your wedding can
only be as good as the effort you put into it. The truth is, there are
elements you have to let go of, ideas that will never work out the way
they were conjured in your head. The truth is, two people in love will
disappoint and frustrate each other, either through miscommunication or
negligence. The truth is, things will never work out perfectly the way
they were planned. Preparing for a wedding is a roller coaster ride. It
goes up, comes down, it goes too fast then stalls; it takes a lot of
fortitude and faith to keep the wheels rolling towards that envisioned
destination.

It was during the homestretch that we discovered the value of Faith in
our relationship. Barely 2 weeks into the wedding day, I found myself
consoling my bride who was crying over her less than perfect wedding
gown. I found myself trying to reassure her that things will be okay, as
long as we have faith in Him and firmly believe that He is watching over
us. A week into the wedding day, I found myself, with my faith
dangerously wavering, trying to convince myself that all these things
are trials from God, and that we should, as the Bible puts it, be joyful
for them. Last Sunday, God once again manifested his Love for us, and
turned things around. Janice now can't wait to march down the aisle
with a wedding gown she loves.

Preparing for our wedding has been a long and exciting adventure for
both of us. In our desire to make our dream wedding turn into reality,
reality joined the fray and helped us grow together. Fate interfered
and multiplied our faith a thousand fold. In preparing for our wedding
together, we have now prepared ourselves for our marriage.

Prenup Pictorial with Nelwin Uy

2008-02-06T11:23:00.001+08:00

05 February 2008
Intramuros

More photos here:

Pre-Wedding Party!

2008-02-06T11:07:00.000+08:00

Last week, the bachelors of Tabangao threw a pre-wedding party for us. Organized by our closest friends, it was a night full of laughter and discoveries.

This was also the night when a trio of Tabangao's newest gigolos were introduced: Raymond "Pepsi" Tsen, Jay "The Fire Extingusher" Wong, and Bryan "The Tripod" Lucas.

More photos here:

Even more here! (Thanks Stip!)

//casa rap

2008-01-17T16:45:00.000+08:00

located in banay-banay, san jose, batangas.

First Day of the Year at Intramuros

2008-01-03T17:19:00.000+08:00

The only memories I have of Intramuros were those from my grade school field trips to Fort Santiago. I have heard of a lot of stories of how much the place has improved, but never got the chance to experience it myself. So on the first day of 2008, a day where we had no wedding suppliers to meet up with and no chance of having a fruitful trip to Divisoria, Janice and I decided to take a trip to the place. We were absolutely delighted with what we saw, and finally decided that this is going to be the location of our prenup shoot.

At the Baluarte de San Diego

Fort Santiago

More photos here: http://martian7.multiply.com/photos/album/11

//tabangao bachelors porn video

2007-12-10T18:29:00.000+08:00

what it is: tabangao's entry to the Shell-Tube Video Making Contest for the SGBP (Shell General Business Principles) Week
stars: kuya rico, biskwit mamaw, gingging, ningning, shell employee 1 (aka harvard dude) and shell employee 2.
collaborators: 18 refinery staff composed mostly of bachelors.
production cost: PhP 573.00
awards won: grand prize, people's choice award
total winnings: PhP 60,000
simple return on investment: 10,471.20 %

view it here

it all started as an idea. a "what if" posed in an email exchange. stip worked on the script, and everything else just fell into place. well, the whole thing wasn't exactly a breeze. on the night of the shoot itself, which started at around 7PM, we had to shoot some scenes up to 8 times. hey in a production where at least 10 people are involved, mistakes are bound to happen. by 1230 AM, we were ready to cut each other's throats.

it was a painstaking process of making the puppets, shooting the scenes, rehearsing the lines and puppet movements, dubbing the voices and the music, and editing the video. and we only had 4 nights to do it.

to cut the story short, our entry won, despite the dirt-cheap production and the inferior equipment we used.

i guess the best thing about being a tabangao bachelor is you get to do at least one thing for the first time year in and year out.

//paradizoo invasion

2007-11-05T17:40:00.000+08:00

on the day janice and i, along with my brother bryan and sis-in-law mimi, went to quiapo and divisoria, my 4 pamangkins kaye, bea, lance and mikos tagged along, thinking we'd have a shot at going to the zoo. well, they ended up waiting in the van (half of the time engaging each other in a no-holds-barred royal rumble) and having lunch at a stinky jollibee outlet in divisoria. the look in bea's face, after waking up and finding herself back home with nothing but a teritaki chicken burger to remind her of the day's trip, simply melted my heart, and i promised i will make up with all of them.

and so we did, last oct 14th. and we all had fun! paradizoo is a farm somewhere near tagaytay, where the young and the young-at-heart could spend one whole day feeding farm animals, running in their lovely garden, or have a ride at the back of a 4-foot horse.

the kids just loved the place, and they begging us to come back soon... (kaye: ninong, ilang tulog pa bago tayo babalik dito?)

of course, it was an opportunity for my mom to do her own prenup shoot for us...

//getting political

2007-10-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

Two weeks after Among Ed exposes the distribution of cash gifts in Malacañang and after publishing a paid ad denying such an event happened, the League of Provinces of the Philippines LPP admits that the money came from them.

Naknampatatas naman. Huwag ninyong gawing tanga ang mga Pilipino.

After announcing that the Glorietta blast is an act of terrorism, the PNP now backtracks and claims it's most likely an "Industrial Failure" - a mixture of methane and "diesel fumes" creating an explosive mixture that eventually caused the explosion.

Kweng kweng kweng. Kakahiya.

Richard Gordon and the Philippine National Red Cross set up a Welfare Desk at Glorietta right after the blast to assist victims and families who were looking for their missing loved ones.

Now that's something worth applauding.

Among Ed for President?

Pwede!

//random photos

2007-05-04T14:32:00.000+08:00

1. we haven't chosen a photographer for our wedding yet, so we opted to do some pre-prenup location shoots of our own.

2. At the World Pyro Olympics

3. With my pamangkins

4. Benavidez kids at the World Light Expo

//11 months from now

2007-03-19T08:16:00.000+08:00

//clique!

2007-03-12T18:04:00.000+08:00

//she

2007-02-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

10. is terrified of cats and mascots
9. tickles her ears with her hair
8. loves the feel of her favorite pillow on her lips
7. dreams of going to Paris
6. is worried about getting old (we're growing old together)
5. has eyes that disappear everytime i make her laugh
4. cries when she's happy
3. loves the rain
2. inspires me to love
1. is my stainless steel soulmate

//best friends

2007-02-11T15:10:00.000+08:00

so the story goes, and it begins once again. two of my best friends got married yesterday, and i had the deep honor of being chosen as their best man. but it has been a deeper honor to have been with them through laughter, hard times, and those precious times in between.

to my idol and to my confidante - may you continue to live each day like your last, and each night like your first.

//olats

2007-02-01T08:52:00.000+08:00

A couple of months ago, I sent in my entry to the Shell General Business Principles (SGBP) Essay Writing Contest.

There were three winners and I can only guess from the number of times the submission deadline has been moved, about 4 entries, including mine.

Here's my losing entry.

*****************************

MGA BATAYANG PRINSIPYO MULA SA ISANG PIRASONG MENTOS

Hawak ko ngayon sa aking kamay ang isang pirasong Mentos. Kung titingnang mabuti, may taglay na hiwaga ang Mentos. Puti sa labas, puti din sa loob. Nguyain mo man ito ng ilang beses, puti pa rin ang kulay nito. Ito ay naiiba dahil matigas ang panglabas, at napakalambot sa loob. May anghang ito na nagbibigay ginhawa at preskong pakiramdam habang tumatagal. Sa totoo lang naiwan ko ito sa aking drawer nang matagal, ngunit hindi nagbago ang lasa, at kapag kumkain ako nito, nawawala ang aking masamang hininga. Iisa lang ang hugis ng Mentos, saang bansa ka man magpunta – noong nakaraang linggo may bisita akong mula sa Croatia at may baon siyang Mentos. Sa palagay ko nga, Mentos na rin ang nilulunok ni Narda upang sagipin ang sangkatauhan bilang si Darna.

Pinagaralan ko ang kasaysayan ng Mentos (Oo, inaral ko talaga, mabuti na lamang at may Google na) at aking napag-alaman na nagsimula pa pala ito noong taoong 1932. Sumabay sa galaw ng panahon, nagkaroon ng iba’t ibang lasa, ngunit hindi nagbago ang orihinal na mint-flavored Mentos. Sa pagdating ng panahon ng globalisasyon, lalo pang nagpalawig ang Mentos at kumalat sa buong mundo.

Pagkatapos ng aking pag-goo-Google, di ko naiwasang itanong sa aking sarili - Sa gitna ng napakatinding kumpetisyon sa panahon ng malayang pandaigdigang kalakalan paano nga ba tumagal at lalo pang umunlad ang isang napakasimpleng bagay na katulad ng Mentos? Paano nga ba tayo uunlad sa mga panahong ganito, kung saan lumiliit ang mundo, bumibilis ang takbo ng buhay, at ang impormasyon ay naaabot sa isang pindot lang ng ating mga daliri? May puwang pa ba ang mga prinsipyo sa isang mundong pinagbigkis ng teknolohiya?

Sa aking pagsisiyasat ng sarili kong damdamin, sa kagustuhang matanto ang kasagutan sa huling katanungan na ito, isang daluyong ng mga diskurso at pakikipagtalo sa aking kunsensiya ang aking pinagdaanan. Hindi ba’t noong tayo’y mga bata pa at napakapayak pa lamang ng buhay ay napakadaling sumunod sa alituntunin ng ating paaralan at utos ng ating mga magulang? Madaling sumunod dahil simple at madaling unawain ang mga epekto at dahilan ng tamang pag-gawa – kapag ginawa mo ang iyong mga takdang-aralin ay tataas ang iyong marka, lumayo ka sa telebisyon dahil lalabo ang iyong mga mata, magmano sa nakatatanda dahil ito’y tanda ng paggalang, magpakabait ka at may regalo ka galing kay Santa Claus.

Diyata’t habang tumatanda tayo ay tila nagiging mas mahirap maging masunurin. Kasabay ba ng pagkalagas ng buhok ay nababawasan din ang ating pag-unawa?

Isang malinaw na halimbawa ay ang pagdating sa aking mesa ng isang malaking sobreng may lamang isang makapal na aklat. Shell Code of Conduct ang pamagat. Sa aking isipan, hindi pa ba sapat na tandaan na ang ating mga prinsipyo ay nababalangkas sa tatlong kataga lamang? Katapatan (Honesty), Kalinisang Budhi (Integrity) at Pag-galang sa Kapwa (Respect for People)?

Sa pagdagdag ng taon, dumadami ang responsibilidad, at tayo’y namumulat sa mga realidad ng ating lipunan. May katiwalian sa lahat ng antas ng pamahalaan. Sa Pilipinas, walang natatalo sa eleksyon, lahat ay dinadaya. May mga anomalyang nangyayari sa ilang kalakaran ng mga negosyo. Hindi mo maaasahang lalabas ang katotohanan sa lahat ng pagkakataon, dahil kadalasang ang katotohanan ang unang biktima sa kagustuhan ng tao na iwaglit ang sarili sa kanyang pagkakamali. Ang iyong trabaho, maging ang kumpanya kung saan ka nagtatrabaho, ay maaaring mawala sa isang iglap lamang. Hindi ka bibigyan ng regalo ni Santa Claus at lalong hindi ka sasagipin ni Darna sa panahon ng iyong pangangailangan.

Hindi maikakaila ang ating pagkamulat sa mga katotohanang dala ng ating pagkakaroon ng mas malawak na pag-unawa sa lipunan. May ilang pagkakataon na ang iyong sariling paninindigan ay maisasalang sa matinding pagsubok kung saan ang maaring kapalit ay ang iyong trabaho, ang iyong pag-unlad bilang isang propesyonal, at sa ilang pagkakataon, maging ang iyong sariling buhay. Sa aking murang edad, nasaksihan ko na kung paanong ang mga sarili kong kaibigan at katrabaho ay nalagay sa panganib sa kagustuhang gawin ang mga bagay na pinaniwalaan nilang tama. Masakit isipin ngunit ang pinakamalupit na katotohang aking natunghayan ay ito: Sa mundong ito, hindi palaging nangingibabaw ang mabuti sa masama.
Subalit kasama ng mapait na pagkamulat sa mga katotohanan, ay ang matamis na pagkakataon upang ating lalong iangat ang ating sariling kamalayan.

Malakas man ang agos ng kabuktutan sa ating kapaligiran ay palaging nandiriyan ang ating kapangyarihang piliin ang kabutihan.

Piliing ipaglaban ang katotohanan.

Piliing ipagtanggol ang karapatan ng iyong kapwa.

Piliing huwag matakot at magsalita para sa kapakanan ng katuwiran.

Piliing maging maka-Kalikasan.

Piliing maging maka-Tao.

Piliing maging maka-Diyos.

Sa layo ng narating ng aking diskurso ukol sa mga prinsipyo sa gitna ng lumalawak ngunit lumiliit na mundo, ako’y nagsimula sa Mentos, at magtatapos sa Mentos. Puti sa labas, puti sa loob. May anghang ngunit may tamis na iniiwan. Matigas ang panglabas ngunit may kaaya-ayang lambot sa kaloob-looban. Nagbibigay ng lakas ng loob upang magsalita at ipakita ang nasa kalooban. Makailang ikot man ang mundo, ang lasa at anyo ay hindi nagbabago.

Kaibigan, hindi mahirap humanap ng Mentos.

/it's alive!

2007-01-09T21:10:00.001+08:00

my tagboard is alive again.

inuman na!

tamad

2007-01-04T19:48:00.003+08:00

hay kakatamad nang mag-blog.

//jolly gk birthday

2006-08-28T16:39:00.000+08:00

07 August 2006
Shell GK Village
Libjo, Batangas City

Perpetrator: Janice
Victim: Glenn
Akala nila accomplice sila pero victim din pala: Volt & Donna
Host: Jollibee the Scary Mascot

//hope

2006-08-11T17:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Mr. Pamplona;

Thank you for being a World Vision Child Sponsor! I am so glad to be able to introduce you to your sponsored child Marie Chris VILLORENTE who comes from Ebenezer II Project in Cavite.

With your help, your sponsored child, Marie Chris will get a chance for a better future and will benefit from the health programs, educational support, livelihood and other community development opportunities provided by World Vision. Over many years of experience World Vision has learnt that the best way of helping a needy child is by working with the parents and the community.

Through your regular sponsorship contributions you are helping your sponsored child to break free from the chains of poverty that binds them. And over time you will see for your self how you are helping to make difference. You can even visit your child if you wish.

Kindly take time to read the Sponsorship Handbook that was sent to you along with the Child's Picture Folder.

Again, Thank you and may our Lord bless you in all your endeavors.

Sincerely Yours,

Elnora B. Avarientos
Executive Director

***************

Sponsor a child today.

//stir

2006-08-09T18:21:00.000+08:00

whenever i do something like this, it can only mean one thing: something's brewing.

//pagbabago

2006-08-02T06:53:00.000+08:00

in a few days, i'm saying goodbye to the 20s.

i used to think that once you've gone past your mid 20s, you'll start going over the hump and you get become too old to try new things and let go of old habits.

but still one can never stop trying. so as i bid goodbye to the dynamic, sometimes overly eager 20s, i will be letting go of a number of stuff, and start taking in new things.

on the way out:
1. xbox late nights
2. scuba diving (well, at least not as often as i used to)
3. smoking
4. badminton

coming soon:
1. golf
2. clean living
3. saxophone
4. volunteer work

i realize: i'm never too old to change.

//my humps

2006-05-31T18:38:00.000+08:00

ngiii.

to do list

2006-03-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

glenn pamplona needs to do the following:

1. Rest
2. ...

//chicken soup for the corporate peon's soul

2006-02-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

got this from Jourdan.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
-Stengel, Casey

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
-Peter, Laurence J.

People are always ready to admit a man's ability after he gets there.
-Edwards, Bob

Ability hits the mark where presumption (arrogance) overshoots and diffidence (timidity) falls short.
-Newman, John Henry

this one is my favorite:

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
-Brilliant, Ashleigh

//life has no meaning

2006-02-06T18:11:00.000+08:00

and Red Bull sucks.

//radio lunacy

2006-01-19T13:38:00.000+08:00

two radio ads that drive me crazy:

1. PCSO (ang maong... hindi kumukupas...)
2. Text Luk 4!

Utang na loob.

//Tops for 2005

2006-01-03T17:47:00.000+08:00

Top 5 Music Purchases

5. Eraserheads: Anthology
4. Various Artists: Ultraelectromagneticjam
3. US3: Hand on Torch
2. Parokya ni Edgar: Halina sa Parokya
1. Radioactive Sago Project: Urban Gulaman

********************

Top 5 Literary Purchases

5. C.S. Lewis: The Chronicles of Narnia
4. Douglas Coupland: Eleanor Rigby
3. Nick Hornby: A Long Way Down
2. Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Love in the Time of Cholera
1. Milan Kundera: The Unbearable Lightness of Being

*********************

Top 5 Movies

5. Batman Begins
4. War of the Worlds
3. The Longest Yard
2. Goal!
1. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros

********************

Top 5 Xbox Games

5. Indigo Prophecy
4. Ninja Gaiden
3. Tiger Woods PGA Golf Tour 06
2. NBA Live 2006
1. FIFA world Cup 2006

********************

Top 5 Places

5. England's Castles
4. Newcastle
3. Amsterdam
2. Anilao
1. Paris

********************

Top 5 New Things

5. O2 Xda II Mini
4. Ginebra's Back-to-Back Championships
3. Football
2. Metal-bound Bible
1. New Pamangkins: Mikos and Leila

*******************

Top 5 New Experiences

5. Climbing the Eiffel Tower
4. Enchanted Kingdom's Flying Fiesta
3. Aperitif in France
2. Seeing the places and artworks mentioned in the Da Vince Code
1. Eating Crocodile Meat

******************

Top 5 New Friends

5. Stanlow Engineers: Platon, John, Paul, Gary and Alex.
4. Tabangao Newbies: Tudoy, Mamai, Ian, Chloe, Bryan, Rico, Janice, Rey and Raymond.
3. Benavidez Family =)
2. Camille LeVely: She's French, and can only speak French, but after only a week we were inseparable. =)
1. Paul Stoddart: spent 18 hours on the road with him travelling in England

******************

//mana sa tito

2005-12-22T14:04:00.000+08:00

maganda ang kinabukasan ng mga pamangkin ko.

2005-09-30T05:20:00.000+08:00

please click me and vote. =)

salamat. =)

//mr. bean must be smiling

2005-09-30T05:03:00.000+08:00

because the painting he ruined is still in the galleries...

//the missing piece

2005-09-27T06:13:00.000+08:00

photos

2005-09-21T01:06:00.000+08:00

The Netherlands

Paris

Chateau de Versailles

The Louvre

Arc de Triomphe and Eiffel Tower

Les Invalides and Napoleon's Tomb

Grevin Museum and Disneyland Paris

Notre Dame and Pantheon

Concorde, Tomb of Kings, Bastille, Musee D' Orsay, Tuileries and Vincennes

Ile de Cite ane Opera Garnier

6 hours of walking...

2005-09-20T04:35:00.000+08:00

and i ended up looking like this...

postcard

2005-09-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

//babay

2005-09-08T18:02:00.000+08:00

i'm off to europe on saturday. see you in november!

//ninoy

2005-08-24T17:00:00.000+08:00

//democracy

2005-08-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

the funny thing about our democracy is:

we decry graft and corruption in government,
but we don't hesitate to offer a bribe to evade a traffic ticket.

you can be a drop-out and still be elected to become legislator,
but you need to have a law degree to interpret the law.

we have entertainers who become politicians,
and we have politicians who act like clowns.

there is a gray area between politics and showbusiness.
in the Philippines, we call it Congress.

//birthday funk

2005-08-09T13:44:00.000+08:00

i almost didn't find my own face here. which is not a good thing.

//birthday thoughts

2005-08-05T11:12:00.000+08:00

i refuse to accept my age. i am too young to be 2X.

blogosphere epidemic

2005-06-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

tintin!!! grrr....

as a good blogosphere citizen, i will do this for you...

***************************

instructions:

things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play.
what lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?
make a list, post it to your journal...
and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.

here goes sagow...

1. xbox (usually nba live tapos tatambakan ko computer nyahaha...)
2. listen to rage against the machine
3. sleep
4. read nick hornby or douglas coupland
5. review fluid mechanics and thermodynamics

i hereby pass on the virus to
1. lauren
2. lissa
3. weng
4. kat
5. kath

//matwon

2005-06-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

part time maton with bilibid tattoo...

//mga larawan ng pag-asa

2005-06-06T16:46:00.000+08:00

mga bagay aking nakita at naranasan sa mall

1. mahabang pila sa lotto
2. isang binatang operator ng kiddie ferris wheel
3. bulto ng mga taong nagsisiksikan para masilayan si mark herras sa entablado
4. mga maliliit na batang nag-uunahang makasakay sa mini-train
5. saleslady na pumipili ng pinakamurang budget meal sa food court
6. janitor na nanananghalian ng baong kanin at longganisa
7. batang lalaking naglalakad habang may sakbit na gitara sa likuran
8. mga de-kurbatang nag-aalok ng credit card
9. kapatid kong naghahanap ng damit para sa binyag ng kanyang anak
10. magkasintahang HHWWPSSP
11. mga natutulog na tutang pug, chihuahua, shih tzu, sharpei at mini pinscher: naka-display sa bio-research
12. ang lola kong nakaasakay sa wheelchair habang pinapanood ang mga maliliit na apo sa storyland
13. mga pamangkin kong natutulog sa van habang pauwi galing sa paglalaro
14. pagbuhos ng ulan
15. pagsikat muli ng araw

//suggest a caption!

2005-05-31T09:11:00.000+08:00

can't think of a caption. post your caption, and if yours is the funniest, you get a ...

smiley. =D

//underwater yoga

2005-05-26T16:37:00.000+08:00

//titan trigger fish = scary

2005-05-24T09:19:00.000+08:00

went diving last weekend with osay, jaycee, camille, miggy and a couple of chikka guys.

this has got to be the craziest dive briefing ever:

the titan trigger fish didn't harm us (although i swear one had its sonars zeroing on me) we did have a number of casualties during the dive weekend:

1. Osay's right ear.
2. My right ear.
3. Camille's yellow snorkelele, now resting in peace some 60 ft underwater at mainit point
4. Miggy's sense of humor
5. Me. Try sleeping in an environment where your roommate snores like he's having acute cardio-respiratory arrest.
6. My mask strap. Gave up on me just like that.
7. Our vocabulary: which now includes the words RR (recreational reminiscing), cosy, yackitidackdack, crub, and man-UAL.
8. A small number of stones at layag-layag and planet dive, stacked up into carefully balanced piles we call "art."

Diving is not for the weak-hearted.

//my new iPod!!!!

2005-04-29T16:58:00.000+08:00

got myself a new iPod.

it's the coolest thing on earth, and i'ts so handy.

5 pesos each.

//meet our people

2005-03-15T17:32:00.000+08:00

in an effort to recruit the brightest graduates, this company decided to use these image models...

harharhar...

//kungfu man

2005-03-14T13:37:00.000+08:00

got a nice dragon i named "wushu" painted on my face during john de castro-corpuz's first birthday party.

of course, it had to come with a million-dollar face to match.

2005-02-09T09:37:00.000+08:00

As you grow older, it becomes harder to feel 100 percent happy. You learn all the things that can go wrong, you become superstitious about tempting fate, about bringing disaster upon your life by accidentally feeling too good one day.

-Douglas Coupland
Shampoo Planet

How tragic, yet how true.

maligayang kaarawan ARISE!

2005-01-24T09:41:00.000+08:00

Bilang pag-gunita sa ika-pitong taong kaarawan ng Alliance for Responsive Involvement and Student Empowement, isang grupo ng mga mag-aaral na naglalayong palawigin ang isang mulat at makabuluhang pagkilos sa Kolehiyo ng Inhinyeriya ng UP, narito ang isang akda ng isa sa aking mga kasamahan sa pagbuo ng progresibong grupong ito, hango sa isang liham na kanyang ipinadala sa aming yahoogroup.

Sa lahat ng mga nagsimula, nagpatuloy, at nagpasigla sa ARISE, mabuhay kayong lahat!

PAGMUMUNI-MUNI...

parang kailan lang, sa hardin ng bahay nila JP, pitong taon na ang
nakalilipas.. natatandaan ko pang parang kahapon lang.. malamig ang
hangin, kakilig-kilig.. walang ulap o buwan kaya't piyesta ang mga
bituin.. nagngingitngit pa nga ang mga rottweiler sa tabi, gusto yata
akong lapain.. samu't saring ang mga dumalo.. merong fratman na
naghahanap ng away, merong sumunod lang dahil andun ang crush nya,
merong tumakas nang walang paalam sa magulang, merong mangiyak-ngiyak,
merong bangag sa puyat, merong nagc-cram para sa exam bukas, meron
namang gutom at nagpaparinig ng pakain.. nung gabing yun, nagpulong
kami para bumuo ng isang partido.. korning-korni pa nga kami sa
mungkahi ni GLENN na pangalan..

"ARISE?? suggestive ha.."

buong buo ang loob namin nun.. nagmula man sa paghihinagpis sa dumi ng
pulitika ang pakay ng munting miting namin, lahat ay may iisang
pangarap.. ang magkaroon ng partidong tapat, makabuluhan.. kung saan
lahat ng kasapi ay aktibo at malinis ang hangaring maglingkod.. isang
samahan ng mga tunay na lider.. yun bang gustong gamitin ang kanyang
talino't galing para sa ikakabuti ng lahat.. yung nangunguna sa
paggalaw at hindi lang nakatunganga't nakabihag sa pamumulitika..

"o sige na nga, ARISE na lang.. wala na tayong maisip, eh gabi na..
inaantok na 'ko.."

kaninang umaga, may nakuha akong text galing kay RB, happy birthday
daw.. aba'y loko, hindi ko birthday ngayon.. birthday ng ARISE,
birthday nating lahat.. pitong taong gulang na pala sya..

(MIKE tama ba? baka mali na naman computation namin..)

pitong taon mula nung mangarap tayo.. pitong taon, at hanggang ngayon,
buhay pa rin ang mga prinsipyo nya.. hindi nagbago ang puso.. kung
tutuusin nga, lalo pa syang naging tapat sa kanyang layunin..
nakakamangha.. kung alam nyo lang ang mga nasa isip ko habang nakaupo
sa hardin nila JP...

*ok to, pero baka hindi magtagal a.. sobrang idealistic.. pero bahala
na si batman.. suntok sa buwan.. at least, sinubukan namin..*

wow.. pahiya ako dun a.. taon-taon pinaaalala sa akin ng ARISE na ok
lang ang mangarap.. ok lang suntukin ang buwan.. ok lang na magtiwala
kay batman.. kung tunay at tapat naman ang hangarin mo, kung nasa
tamang lugar ang puso mo, hindi ka magkakamali.. ang swabe pa dyan,
marami pang makikiisa sa yo!! ang dami mo palang katulad na gusto
ring maglingkod nang tapat..

*cool pala ang mag-OUT sa pagiging idealistic*

sabi nila, paglabas ko raw ng UP, madi-disilusyon ako.. (hmmm.. tama
nga naman yun).. pero bawat pagkakataon na malugmok ako sa lungkot
dahil sa kawalan ng sistema, katiwalian, at pangbabastos ng kapwa,
iniisip ko na lang ang ARISE..

noon, napagdaanan namin ang kasangsangan ng pulitika, ang kawalan ng
saysay ng mahinang pamumuno, ang paninira at pagpatay ng aming
prinsipyo.. pero nangarap kami, naghanap ng pagbabago, kumilos..
nagtagumpay kami noon.. tagumpay pa rin tayo hanggang ngayon.. walang
rally, walang libreng tulong o pabuya mula sa mga makapangyarihan..
maliliit na boses lang kami noon.. nagsama-sama, nangarap, kumilos..
yun lang pala ang kailangan,'no??

MALIGAYANG KAARAWAN SA ATING LAHAT!!!

--
Edelle A Lorenzana

//a life of finding God

2004-12-21T11:05:00.000+08:00

"To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation."
- excerpt from The Life of Pi, a book by Yann Martel

The past few nights, I've abandoned my Xbox for this book. The preface itself was enough to capture my attention. It says that the story promises to make you believe in God.

How odd, I thought to myself. Up until two days ago, I'd say flat out that my favorite book in the world is one that was written by Douglas Coupland, a collection of stories under a title, Life After God.

Pi, an Indian zoologist who was named after a swimming pool, was an odd child. His hobby was that of religion. Raised as a Hindu, he eventually found himself wanting to become a Hindu, a Muslim and a Christian all at the same time. When confronted by his parents about it, this was his response:

"Because I want to love God."

Now there are two words from that statement that struck me.

Love.

God.

How many of us can truly say that we are happy because we Love? How many of us can say that we are in a state of Love, that we are experiencing it in it's purest, truest form, that which is different from something we mistake for Love? It's not as simple as saying "I love basketball" or "I love the way you look tonight" or "I love my girlfriend."

How many of us can say that God is truly the ruler of our lives? That God is the every reason for our choices, the voice within us that drives us to Love One Another?

Once upon a time, I was a student trying to save the world one oppressed soul at a time, and at one particular evening, I got to hold the hand of a farmer who was deprived of a land to cultivate. And as we sang the Lord's Prayer, tears flowed because for one fleeting moment, I understood. For one moment in my life, I heard the voice of God. It felt like meeting Jesus Christ for the first time in my life.

It's probably true, what the Muslims say. Take two steps towards God, and God runs to you.

//refinery geeks at work

2004-12-07T10:24:00.000+08:00

donna and volt took these photos of us refinery geeks last week, hoping to come up with an FHM-type calendar. too bad we can't wear our tiger-stripe skimpy trunks at the office. =D

//the god of blinding love

2004-09-27T19:05:00.000+08:00

Think about this.

Look.

In some old love song, it is said that love is all around. While it is true that love is easily found with the way two people look at each other, in the cups of late night coffee, in laughters being shared...

It is equally easy to miss the bad things that are prevalent in some relationships.

Especially when we're part of them.

They say love is blind. I say, Love makes us Blind.

Look around you. You might not even have a clue, but a loved one just might be a victim of The Vicious Cycle. Of the God of Blinding Love.

To my stainless steel friend, this is for you.

Basic Rights in a Relationship
from Patricia Evans

The right to good will from the other.
The right to emotional support.
The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
The right to clear and informative answer to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
The right to live free from accusation and blame.
The right to live free from criticism land judgment.
The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect
The right to encouragement.
The right to live free form emotional and physical threat.
The right to live free from angry outburst and rage.
The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.

//sperm in a million

2004-09-15T13:40:00.000+08:00

so apartment-mate volt, his commander-in-chief donna and i celebrated our birthdays last month. and corrosion engineer (translation: boy kalawang) emerson, one of the refinery newbies, topped the metallurgical engg board exams.

4 reasons to party. and another reason for me to come up with another smart-ass invitation...

in case you didn't notice. that's not really a sun...

//hsse week pics

2004-09-10T15:00:00.000+08:00

shell is celebrating its annual health, safety, security and environment week, ending today.

as always, you participate, you get your photograph taken. =) one of the perks of working in a refinery is, you get to do all those crazy stuff: like climbing up a 300-foot structure, crawling inside dark pipelines, and wearing all those crazy costumes taken straight out of a sci-fi novel. and you get your photograph taken while you're at it...

firefighter's challenge... bukas pa ang 9-11!

"take me to your leader..." it's called a chemical suit.

//retro 94s

2004-09-08T11:31:00.000+08:00

our batch in the upsilon is celebrating its 10th anniversary in the frat.

ten years ago, we launched our first ever batch project as residents: similarly, a golf tournament at east ridge.

two weeks ago, in celebration of this, and in memory of our ka-batch jason haboc osorio, we were lauded by our fellow alumni for a successful golf tournament in malarayat.

10 years. less hair, more weight, less time together. same old us.

//building homes with gawad kalinga

2004-09-06T10:34:00.000+08:00

the date: saturday, september 4th

the place: san vicente libjo, batangas city

who: volunteers from shell and couples for christ

what: shell-gawad kalinga build activity

the effort:

the group:

the prize:

more pics here....

//minsan sa may kalayaan

2004-09-03T09:34:00.000+08:00

minsan sa may kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan
may mga sariling gimik at kaya-kanyang hangad sa buhay

medyo angas pa pakiramdam ko nun. taga-pisay eh. maraming kakilala kahit bagong salta. siguradong di mahihirapan sa UP. pero nagkamali ako. sa buhay natin, kahit anong gawin natin, napakaraming posibilidad. napakaraming mga pagkakataon at mga pangyayari at hindi maiiwasang makahanap tayo ng mga kaibigan.

hindi ko malilimutan na nagsimula sa unang gabi sa kalayaan lobby. para kaming mga timang na naka-bangla sa mga nagagandahang mga babaeng nagche-check in sa dorm. halu-halo, di kami magkakakilala, pero di nagkakalayo ang mga trip namin kaya kami nandun noong oras na iyon: merong naghahanap ng cute, merong gustong magpa-cute, merong gustong manimbang ng mga bagong mukha, merong naandun para mang-gago lang. tawa kami nang tawa nung nilapitan ni cocoy yung isang tisay. mahaba ang buhok, mukhang mahinhin, pero nung ngumiti kulang pala ang ngipin. wag mo na itanong kung sino yun, igalang na lang natin pagkatao nya.

ganito kasimple ang buhay namin dati. aral, tambay, kain, tulog, tambay, yosi, inom. andaming klase ng tao, lahat kailangang pakisamahan. si etok, medyo weird na parang galit sa mundo, pero okay kausap pag nasa mood. si lazaro, may pagka-nerd at promdi ang dating, at halatang excited sa buhay sa lungsod. laging pinagtitripan dahil sasakyan ka lang kahit anong banat mo, pero nung sumali ng frat, medyo naging mainitin ng ulo, kaya nung tumagal pinapabayaan na lang. si eumir, talagang unang tingin mo pa lang may pagkamanyakis na, yung tipong hindi mo iiwan kaibigan mong babae sa kanya. noon lang ako nakakilala ng lalaking kiss and tell. blow by blow magkuwento ng mga sexcapades nya. medyo hindi na nga ako naniniwala kung minsan. tingin ko kung nakakulong yun ngayon, statutory rape ang kaso nya. si ivan, roommate ni eumir, kilala ng lahat. matangkad, magaling magbasketball, magandang lalaki. may kalokohan din sa katawan pero matinong tao. siya ang taga-gupit ng plastic bottle ng mineral water para gawing tagayan ng gin. gitarista ko sya nung isang beses na nauto ako ng dorm council na kumanta ng "creep" sa valentine's dating game, kakahiya yun. ngayon, newscaster na, sikat! si ronald, high school pa lang, bespren ko na. kaso nagkataong nain-lab kami sa iisang babae, kaya muntik na kaming magsapakan minsan. ako kasi pinili nung girl, di ata matanggap ng kaibigan ko na paminsan nakakaisa rin ang simpatiko sa mukhang model ng bench.

sa ilalim ng iisang bubong
mga sekretong ibinubulong
kahit na anong mangyari
kahit na saan ka man patungo

madami ding mga intriga sa dorm. yung mga taga-pisay na nasa first floor. di ko alam, dami palang mga girls ang kinikilig sa kanila. pero mortal naming kaaway yung mga taga-masci na nakatira sa basement. kahit na nagkalampasan na sa corridor, naghahabulan pa rin ng titigan. muntik na ngang magka-rumble. parang universal motion dancers versus streetboys ang dating, hehehe. yung dalawa kong kaibigan, minsan, nag-absent sa ROTC. pagbalik namin galing vanguard complex, nahuli silang namboboso sa kisame ng girl's wing. tangina, dyahe. gustong-gusto ko silang batukan (bakit di kayo nagdala ng camera????) kasi sobrang kahihiyan ang inabot nila. mantakin mong mag-public apology kayo sa lahat ng babae sa buong dorm. 300 plus na babae. at hindi sila fans... ngi...

syempre, di nawawala ang mga crush dito crush doon. yung una kong crush sa UP, si kaka. taga ba wing, partner floor naming mga taga second floor boys. minsang nagkatuwaang mag-soiree (hambaduyyy) ako nakabunot ng meal card nya, na ang ibig sabihin ay siya ang ka-partner ko sa dinner na isang pirasong fried chicken, at sabaw na may sago. akala ko dun na magsisimula yung love story namin. hindi pala. hanggang dun na lang yun, period.

sa kalayaan ko nakilala ang unang babaeng nagmahal sa kin, (bukod sa nanay ko)... di ko na maalala kung pano nagsimula, basta ang alam ko si ronald, yung bespren ko, ang may tipo kay lani. kaso, hindi porke guwapo, hindi tinatablan ng pagka-torpe at ng sakit na kung tawagin ay "style-bulok." kaya ayun, kelangan samahan para di magkamali ng hirit. kaso, parang sa pelikulang ala-onemig-mikee-aga, ako ang napalapit sa babae. napakanta tuloy si mokong ng "why can't it be? why can't it be the two of us..."

sa kalayaan ko rin nakilala si ube. mahabang kuwento din to, pero kahit sa labas ng kalayaan nabuo ang aming pagkakaibigan, di ko pa rin makalimutan yung araw na nakilala ko sya sa lobby ng kalayaan. nakapambahay sya, puting t-shirt at puruntong shorts na bulaklakin. pero sa kalayaan nagsimula yung mga weekends na umuuwi kami nang sabay papuntang batangas, at panay ang reklamo ko dahil gusto nya, alas sais nang umaga eh nakasakay na kami sa bus. ngayon, nasa canada sya at ako, nananabik pa rin sa kanyang pag-uwi. kung puwede lang mag-bus papunta dun, susuduin ko na siya.

minsan ay parang wala nang bukas sa buhay natin
inuman sa magdamag na para bang tayo'y mauubusan
sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan
mga tiyan nati'y walang laman

sabi nila, ang taong lasing, hindi nagsisinungaling. di ko alam kung totoo yun, kasi pag lasing ka, wala kang maaalala. pero naalala ko yung isang inuman namin sa first floor, mga bente kami sa isang kuwarto, pero bawal mag-ingay kasi baka mahuli. eh putanginang joal, nagpatawa, eh di naghagikgikan lahat. ayun, may kumatok sa kuwarto, si ate elvie. huling huli si joal na may hawak na gin, na wala nang nasabi kun hindi "ate, tagay mo na..."

sa third floor, ko naranasan malasing hanggang sa gumapang ako pabalik sa kuwarto. sa kuwarto ng kababayan kong si jerome. classmate ko sya nung elementary. sinapak nya ko sa kanang mata noong grade 4 kami dahil kinukulit ko minsan sa math. wala na sya ngayon, kinitil nya ang sarili nyang buhay noong college.

ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
sana'y huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan
at kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin
na minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan
ngunit kahit na walang pera
ang bawat gabi'y anong saya

madalas, wala kaming mga pera. nagtitiyaga sa sky flakes sa para di magutom habang nag-aaral, magru-room hopping kapag walang magawa, mag-aaya ng inuman sa katabing kuwarto, naghihiraman ng bluebook, toothpaste, tissue paper, scientific calculator, sample exam sa physics. sa hapon, laman kami ng basketball court. sa gabi, lumalabas ang mga kalokohan. nakilala kaming "oblation boys" dahil tuwing mag-i-insepct sa ate eden, ang graduate assistant ng dorm, inaabutan nya ang mga tukmol sa floor namin na naka-brief lang habang nag-aaral sa kuwarto. kaya siguro kami ang paboritong bisitahin kuno.

minsan ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari
kahit na anong gawin
lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan
dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon
di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan
ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka
ikaw ay aking tawagan
dahil minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan

madaming alaalang masarap balikan sa kalayaan. yung food poisoning sa canteen, yung mga panahong ipinag-iigib ko ang mga babaeng di ko kilala mula sa poso sa may court, ang pagro-rosary sa lobby para makakilala ng chicks, ang sabaw na may sago, lasingang hindi na mabilang kung ilan.

sana lang, magkaroon ng isang pagkakataong magkikita kaming muli. di lang para humingi ng autograph kay ivan mayrina at kay zorah ruth andam, pero para magkabiruan lang at magtawanan, balikan ang matamis na nakaraan, alalahanin ang mga kasamahang lumisan.

masaya rin siguro kung mayroon konting inuman.

//all form, no substance

2004-08-24T08:05:00.000+08:00

di bale nang bulok, basta pogi naman sa malayo...

//twenty eight things at 28

2004-08-09T17:32:00.000+08:00

1. I've learned that not everything can be learned. For example, I've been playing basketball since I was 7 years old. Until now, I still can't make a left-handed layup.

2. I do my best to never complain about my job. My job is not my life, and this job was not created for me. It's nothing but a give-and-take relationship.

3. I am a man, but i cry. I cried when I found out that my first love was in love woth someone else. I cried when my girlfriend left for another country. I cried 2 weks ago as i talked to my mom over the phone. I cry because I am a man.

4. I don't mind spending one whole weekend sleeping, as long as I have one of my nephews and nieces sleeping beside me.

5. I try to get involved in too many sports, and they all frustrate me because they all make me realize how unathletic I am.

6. Except for one: scuba diving, which is why diving is my passion.

7. If I had an element, it would be water. I'm not a good swimmer, but I love watching the sunset while floating on my back in the water.

8. Because I live for the present, I'm a great procrastinator, but it's okay because tomorrow might be the last day of my life, and someone will eventually take over.

9. Work is just a means to an end. Life is more important: being in love, nurturing relationships, spending time with family, giving back to the community, being at peace with yourself and with your God.

10. I never count my achievements because I do not think of them as my own. I was just fortunate, I guess.

11. A couple of weeks ago, a friend gave me this title: Prince of Quirk. It really made my heart smile.

12. I do not believe that there are such things as bad decisions. It's all a matter of perspective.

13. I am an engineer, but I love to write. I love to paint. I love poetry. I even try my best to make sculptures. I hang hand-painted masks on my bedroom walls. I am an engineer only because I used to get high grades in Math. I am an artist because that's who I have always wanted to be.

14. Never let a spark of brilliance slip away. Write write write.

15. I have 3 nephews and 2 nieces. All of them think I'm their Godfather.

16. My bedroom at our family home is a mess. It is infested by ants because of crumbs, candy and spilled milk. The floor is a hazard because of loose toys. The sheets are stained and smelly. And I love it because it tells me that the kids love staying in bed with me.

17. At one point in my life, I stopped dreaming of becoming wealthy. Not because I can't be, but because I shouldn't be.

18. My life's defining moment came when I visited hunger striking farmers. it made me realize that my love for God and my love for my country are one and the same.
19. A perfect day should always include spending time to play with kids.

20. I've been a Ginebra fan since I was 8. I think they have the worst record in basketball. I'm still a Ginebra fan because Loyalty is one of my values.

21. I'd carry my camera around with me at all times, if I could. I love being able to recognize and capture the magic in what seem to be insignificant moments.

22. People think I am weak because I am too kind. But then again, it makes me strong inside.

23. I don't think I can bear the sight of any of my loved ones dying. If I had a choice, I would like all all of them to to outlive me, even if it means I would have to die young.

24. When my first nephew was born, I used to watch him sleep for hours. The idea of a newborn child having the almost the same flesh and blood as mine, was simply too amazing for me to comprehend.

25. A lot of times, usually after a poor game of basketball or badminton, I try to think of things that I'm really good at, things that will make me "the go-to guy." I still haven't found one. Maybe all I'm good at is thinking.

26. I love watching the sunset. I don't know why. I just do.

27. Romantic love is not for everyone. It is a gift, which means we can be happy even without it.

28. I've learned that one can fall in love a million times, but true love is about choosing one out of a million, and sticking to that choice.

//love letter

2004-08-06T10:06:00.000+08:00

mommy g, one of the few people here at work that i can relate to so well, sent this to me. this is a letter she wrote for someone who, once upon a time, was the one and only man of her life. until another one came along...

This is not easy for me to write. But considering that I was half awake the entire morning because of all these thoughts running around in my head, I really feel that I should send this.

I got to thinking that a lot of people would disagree with what we share. But in my heart I know this to be right. That we are where we are (in spite of the awful timing, if you will) because there is no other place and time where we should be. We met when we did and came together when we did because that was when we were most prepared, most ready to be together. Right or wrong, I truly believe that.

Thing is, I have never been in a situation like this before and I find myself in unfamiliar waters.

Truth be told, I just want to make you happy. I want to be there for you -- I want to be the one who wakes you up with kisses in the morning and the same one who kisses you till you fall into restful sleep at night. I want to be the one you rush home for and the one who makes you smile when you think of me during the day. Simply put, I want to lay the world at your feet -- or to be able to try to do so, at least.

Do not get me wrong. To be in love with you is a decision, and one that I made after coming clean with myself and being honest with what I was really feeling.

The reality as I hold it to be true is that we are meant to be together. In the deepest recesses of my soul, I hold this sacred. And that is why choosing you, even it meant giving up my family, is the only thing I was ever completely sure of.

I may be, at times, a very juvenile and very emotional 26 year old. But as you may have glimpsed, I have also been toughened by the years and have become a bit
of a hardened old soul in some respects.

That is, until you.

I had nearly given up hope of ever finding someone I could really be myself with. But you came into my life when I least expected it and I realized a very important truth: that when you meet the person who makes your heart sing and your spirit soar, you don't turn your back on such a precious gift. When you find the person who makes you want to become better than who you are now then you know this to be nothing short of extraordinary - a miracle of the most beautiful kind.

One does not need a lifetime to know the beauty of what we have discovered and to realize its value, its true worth.

I do not know what happens after this.

All I do know for sure is that I love you.

And I will hold on to that for the rest of my life.

===========================================

Note: "What happened after this?" you may ask...

Well...

Mommy G is now a 28-year old mother to a beautiful baby boy.

And happily living her dreams of forever with the father of her child -- the same man who was the inspiration for this letter.
:o)

//another blog is born

2004-08-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

welcome to the blogosphere, purple_plankton!

//flufferfillar foem

2004-07-28T14:36:00.000+08:00

my officemate, ariel asked me this morning to write a short poem for his daughter who, it seems, has to do one for a grade school assignment. i knew i had a hectic day, but if i could do it in 15 minutes, i should be fine, and i had done my friend a little favor. i needed the break anyway.

15 minutes later, this is what i sent him.

i asked why

one bright and sunny day
after school and while at play,
on top of a leaf i found
a green caterpillar, long and round.

what an amazing creature! i said,
as it crawled around its leafy bed.
with short stubbly feet along its tummy
long and hairy around his bright fluffy body.

the next day i came back
but what i saw was just a small sack
the caterpillar is gone! it is gone!
and thinking it has died, i ran home and cried.

a few days later, one bright sunny day
i saw something beautiful while i was at play.
my pretty caterpillar was gone, i once asked why
now here is my old friend, a lovely butterfly.

i sure do miss being a child.

//a clutter-ful week ends

2004-07-22T10:54:00.001+08:00

ack... it's a terribly cluttered week... so many meetings, and no time left to do real work...

good news is, tomorrow's a non-working holiday here in batangas city.

yahoo!

p.s. championship game later at 5 pm. no time for those basketball jones to ruin our season now...

//after sunrise

2004-07-19T11:08:00.000+08:00

Nine years ago...

Now...

The sequel to my all-time favorite movie. Showing soon. Yahoo!!!

My thanks to Mommy G for the links. =)

//the boy who cried golf

2004-07-13T09:42:00.000+08:00

i never really understood what the fuss is about golf. you hit a ball, you look for it, you hit it again until you reach the place with shorter grass, change clubs, take the ball to the hole. golf. sure, happy gilmore was hilarious, it has always been my favorite adam sandler movie, but i never really fully appreciated how golf can even stimulate one's sense of challenge.

well, that was before yesterday, and that was before i looked something like this at that damn par 5 hole by the river where i lost a ball...

after 6 holes of zigzagging the fairway, i ended up sitting outside my garage contemplating on the meaning of life. how can something so simple be so complicated? why can't i hit the ball with wood? what will happen to that golf ball i drove smack in the middle of the river? will it stay there for another hundred thousand years, only to be excavated and celebrated as proof of civilization?

okay, so i sucked yesterday. but it's not the end of the world. i am better than this sport. i can overcome this... i hate this game.

is it 4 pm yet? i can't wait to hit the driving range again. back to square one.

damned wood.

//araw ng barangay

2004-07-08T11:12:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i was pumped up all day, ready to watch ginebra do battle against arch-nemesis red bull, in a bid to send the barakos home and capture the championship trophy tonight.

all day long, queen's "we are the champions" kept playing over and over agin inside my head.

7:10 PM, it was game time. positioned in my bean bag, not even my hungry stomach was able to take my eyes of the tv.

i kept telling myself... this is the night.

and it was...

the barangay ginebra gin kings, on a 103-86 victory, finally ends its seven-year drought, and captures the pba fiesta conference championship.

now, my favorite number is 7. and i've always believed it to be my lucky number. i was born on the 7th of august, and my name starts with the 7th letter of the alphabet. as a benchwarmer on my basketball teams, i wear jersey number 7.

now this has been the observation of many...

1. ginebra last won the championship sept 07, 1997...
2. ... under coach sonny jaworski with the very popular jersey number 7
3. it's been 7 long years since that last crown
4. ginebra's celebrating it's 107th year
5. this year, ginebra won the championship on the 7th day of the 7th month
6. the final score: ginebra massacred red bull via a 17 point advantage
7. G-I-N-E-B-R-A. seven letters

GI-NE-BRA!!!!

//ayus!

2004-07-07T14:15:00.000+08:00

daming girls dito!!!

Try it at Photo Illustration Maker...

//weekend rush

2004-07-05T10:47:00.000+08:00

if last weekend were like any other, i would have stayed home, woke up late and burned my tv and xbox. after watching ginebra lose game 2 to red bull on friday night, i should have wallowed in my misery and slept till my back starts to hurt.

but i had errands to run. i had to withdraw some cash, buy detergent fot my laundry, ask the apartment caretaker to feed fishy over the weekend while i'm away, and, well, go home.

well i did all those things, plus, i finally got to drag my lazy ass to the local auto shop, had my car's rear bumper removed and arranged for it to be lined with fiber glass. it's a nasty case of corrosion our refinery expert duane would have called neglectization corrosion. hey, not my fault. you see terranos with rusty rear bumpers everywhere.

so that was done. drove another 10 kilometers to lipa to get a haricut, meet up with my mom, and my brother's family to watch spiderman 2. (just a side note, i really think the movie didn't live up to the hype. it's your typical sequel, and oh, from an engineering standpoint, it just doesn't make sense...) after the movie, the whole van-load of pamplonas spent the evening in a private pool in pansol, where the kids just went ga-ga over the pool slide and ended up fast asleep a couple of hours later out of sheer exhaustion.

that was saturday. sunday came, and things got even better. it was game day. and something about the way i woke up told me it was gonna be barangay ginebra's day.

so, 3 days ago, almer and i agreed to watch the game live at araneta coliseum. emerson and stip, two of the "kaladkarin" (read: hindi mahirap ayain...) refinery geeks agreed to join us, and so we met up at makati, and commuted to araneta. in an MRT nonetheless.

now most of you yuppies out there regard the mrt in the same way as they would their daily dose of coffee, but not me. first of, i'm not a yuppie. i'm a ruppie. rural... young... err.. whatever. you get the point. anyway, riding an mrt to me was what sex is for all of us. the first time is memorable (although not always in a good way) and you find yourself fumbling you way through, ridiculously pretending to be good at it, and once it's done, you can't help but wear a silly grin on your face.

my first time. wow...

2 hours later, we were at the game, and pumping our fists into the air with every helterbrand jumpshot, menk semi-hook, and adducul lay-up. ginebra won the game. nothing beats the euphoria of being one with the crowd, chanting "GI-NE-BRA! GI-NE-BRA!".

this isn't just ginebra's weekend. something tells me its' gonna be a ginebra year.

//the fast and the furious

2004-07-01T11:12:00.000+08:00

wokr-life balance is a must, and because it is a must, these are the things that i MUST do after office hours:

1. Play basketball: Mondays and Wednesdays.
2. Play badminton: Mondays and Tuesdays.
3. Hand paint masks: Mondays
4. Need for Speed Underground (THIS GAME ROCKS!) Every single day...
5. Watch the Ginebra-Red Bull champioship/melee.
6. Watch Alias

Need for Speed Underground is the current blockbuster in my Xbox console. My roomie, Volt, actually bought the game for himself, but during one boring weekend, I popped it into my console, and wham, i got hooked just like that. Now I've never really been good at racing games (I actually sucked at the Gran Turismo series...) but this game just seriously brings to life my fantasy of owning a car worthy of the nitrous oxide burning cars of the Fast and the Furious fame. I started with a stock Mazda Miata MX-5, the only roadster available in the game, and i've upgraded the engine, exhaust system, turbo package, transmission (it's now 6-speed), brake systems, wight reduction, and nitrous oxide package. The nitrous oxide thingie really rocks. And boy, the game is really, really challenging. Love the soundtrack as well. Plus, you get to dress up your car with pulse neon lights, gorgeous vinyls, bumpers, roof scoops, carbon fiber hoods and side skirts. Game modes vary from drag, to drift, to lap knockouts, to sprint. Well, this is the one thing that makes me feel like Paul Walker every single weeknight.

last night, i almost had a heart attack. right from the game's first basket, care of ginebra import torraye braggs' three point play, ginebra's unloading of points to take a 22-point lead with the help of mark caguioa's flawless three point shooting, jimwell torion and enrico villanueva demolishing that lead down to 6 at halftime, and up to vitor thomas' missed three point attempt to beat the buzzer, my heart was at the brink of arrest, as ginebra won game 1 94-92 of the best of five series.

after 7 years of drought, barangay ginebra is seeking another pba championship crown, this time, against bitter rival red bull barako.

i can still remember that last championship run so clearly. i was having dinner with almer, a ginebra fanatic himself, at project 6. we were both close to tears as the graphics showing a photograph of jaworski and the words "Finally..." were flashed on the screen.

last night, as the ginebra gin kings battled furiously for the w, i was led back to the time when bal david sent asi taulava crying a couple of years ago, by beating top-seeded mobiline in the semifinals a several of years ago.

save for bal david, this one's a completely different lineup from that championship team of gordon's gin back in '97. with david on the sidelines because of an injury, the team is led by a rag-tag pair of bandana-brandishing guards, called the fast and the furious: jayjay helterbrand and mark caguioa. watch them run the break and you'll know why jayjay is the fast, and mark is the furious. fearless and fast as lightning, they are the face of what ginebra stands for. along with eric menk, rommel adducul, andy seigle, rodney santos, sunday salvacion, this team could just prove to break seven years of waiting for the barangay's horde of fans.

and oh how sweet it is if it happens this year, because in that case, they'll be beating the red bull team i really really love to hate.

//the world stops

2004-05-14T08:32:00.000+08:00

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one:
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods:
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

- W.H. Auden.

************

Two months ago, the last time our batch got together, you raised a bottle of beer to me and thanked me for driving all the way to see you.

Farewell, friend, brother. BROTHER.

Raise me a cry against loneliness stronger than I am a brother to my brother.

//angels in our home

2004-03-30T13:42:00.000+08:00

NOW here's one thing about me. I come from a family that's been broken apart, having been estranged from my father for several years now. I have sinced with my sister, two brothers, and my mom in a house we cannot call our own. We are a family that has never enjoyed the finer things life has to offer. To us, happiness was being together on a Friday night as Bal David sinks a buzzer-beating game winner for Ginebra. To us, a weekend getaway was driving to Calamba for a dip in this one public resort we always come back to, the one where my parents took me daily for my therapy after my close call with polio. The only time I spent time alone with any of my siblings was when I'd play a game of one-on-one basketball with any of my brothers, or taking the bus home from Manila with my sister.

Our family has gone through so many pains, heartaches, challenges, and from those tumultous times, so many things have changed. If there was one thing I have always been thankful for, it was the fact that none of us ever went astray. We all have stable jobs now, and we take turns taking the family out to dinner at Dampa.

But the most important blessings we have received so far came in installments. The first one in 1999, right after I graduated from college. His name is Mark Jared. Almost my namesake, he was the most special to me. Stuck at home trying to concentrate on my board review, I had to balance between my books and babysitting him. My older brother, and my sister-in-law are nurses, and they couldn't afford to employ a yaya at that time. By the time Red was starting to walk, I was an expert at changing diapers, preparing the right formulation for his milk, and making him fall asleep on my chest as I lie down reading my reviewers.

Kaye came next. I can still remember the first time I met her. Peacefully sleeping in her crib, my mom picked her up and showed her to me as I practically crashed through the doorway one Saturday in February 2002. My mom, curiously, presented her to me while making a "tada!" sound as if she was a pigeon she pulled out of a hat. From that day on, Kaye was the most frequent visitor of my bedroom.

Seven months later, Bea and Green came three days apart. Bea has my grandfather's eyes and had features of a baby version of my younger brother, while Green is a clone of my older brother. Bea was so hard to please, which makes it such an overwhelming experience to be able to cradle her in my arms without her protesting. Green is mysterious, quiet, and almost stoic. Making him smile can just take your breath away.

Last December, Lance was born, and completed the current cast that made up our family. One can't help but see an athlete in him, having features that reminds you of your classic quarterback in those teenie-bopper american movies.

The size of our family practically doubled over the past 5 years. Having been blessed with 5 little angels, there is so much love, so much happiness in our family that we just might have to move out soon, because that house we couldn't call our own, is just too small to contain all the joy.

Now I might not be the luckiest person in the world when it comes to romantic love. But have I learned that the purest form of love is best experienced at home, watching my 5 little angels play, and having them sleep beside me at the end of the day. And it is during those moments, feeling the gentle, peaceful breathing of a child sleeping under my protective embrace, that I feel that I am capable of experiencing love, in its truest, unconditional state. It's like being touched by an angel.

the coupland effect

2004-03-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

WE RARELY PAY ATTENTION to it, but each day is an anniversary for an event in each of our lives.

Which now leads me to wonder what it would be like to travel back in time and look at myself, as I used to be, at one particular point in time. Just be an invisible observer, and just watch the younger version of myself. Watch myself and try to capture a complete snapshot of you at that one insignificant moment in your past: what my dreams were, what used to make me smile, drive me nuts, or make my hands clammy.

If i were transported fourteen years back in time, I'd be watching a more fiery version of me. Short tempered, arrogant yet bit scared deep inside. I'd be looking at a twelve year-old boy, head resting on his right arm as he sits on sprawled on a table, his typewritten speech on his left hand, trying to memorize his valedictory address. Cramming, as he will always be for the rest of his young life. Now this boy, he's on top of the world. And he has more dreams that anyone lifetime could ever achieve. He wants to be a rock star. He wants to be a nuclear scientist. He wants a big house, a fancy car, a lovely wife and beautiful kids when he grows old enough. He believes he has what it takes. He believes he has the talent, the brains, the gift. He believes that someday, he'll end up marrying his school bus seatmate (whom he never had the guts to talk to, by the way, because he just isn't good looking enough. Yet.) and even if it doesn't happen, he believes that there's someone else who's being prepared for her. He believes this girl will look like Phoebe Cates.

He believes.

Three months later, this boy will move to the big city, to a new school, where life will start to unravel before him, and where reality will slowly take the place of what used to be a cup overflowing with dreams.

Four months later, this boy will be sitting in the pavement, looking above the moonlit sky, wearing his first long-sleeved shirt and clip-on tie, holding a slightly neglected long-stemmed rose, ignoring the soft music playing inside the school cafeteria. On a night where everything was supposed to be perfect, the boy will meet his first frustration, being too short to be paired to any of the girls, and he will lose his first battle with reality.

I will never remember exactly where or when, but after summer, when the rains start to fall, I will wake up to the anniversary of the day when life started to defeat my innocence.

I guess I have lost that capacity to believe in anything. Two Saturdays ago, I took a ride around our with my friends on a speedboat, and I asked God to "please send us dolphins..." The dolphins didn't come. It made me realize that some things are just aren't meant to be. That there is no point in hoping for things that aren't meant to come. Because if they are meant to happen, then you don't have to spend so much effort trying to have faith in it in the first place. I'll just take on life as it is, and accept whatever comes my way, no complaints, no frustrations, no broken dreams.

It must be the Coupland effect.

marine life fichures

2004-03-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

Two weeks ago, my aqua one dive group trekked to Western Batangas to help build artificial reefs in Calatagan.

Here we are! Sorry, but the only marine life you'll find here are the type that gets drunk after a day of diving. =D

nice sunset!

we call this the hallmark card shot

our group the mroning after having too much alcohol

i'm in a rush right now, so i'll be updating this post later... =)

PEYUPS OLDIES!

2004-03-11T15:31:00.000+08:00

A couple of months ago, i met up with online friends from peyups, and got surprised that the most of faces behind the names are actually old acquaintances from Molave and Pisay. We had dinner at Chocolate Kiss at the Bahay ng Alumni, where just_shoot_me and i actually made a plan on how we'll break the celebrity couple of Jericho Rosales and Cindy Kurleto for our own gain. Of course, we chickened out.

This particular group is more popularly known in the forums as the OLDIES.

//lists

2004-02-05T11:18:00.000+08:00

Inspired by an entry from orangehaze's blog, here's a little list of my own Top 5s.

Top 5 Celebrities
1. Billy Crystal
2. Michael Buble
3. Anthony Keidis
4. Harry Connick Jr.
5. Kermit the Frog

Top 5 things to do on a weekend
1. Scuba diving
2. Xbox
3. 24 season 2 marathon
4. Sleep
5. Watch TV

Top 5 things I have memorized that others normally haven't
1. The whole Blood Sugar Sex Magik album of Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. If by Rudyard Kipling (can recite it in less than one minute)
3. Ice Ice Baby (well not really...)
4. Mr. Suave. I was forced to.
5. Starting lineup of all 29 NBA teams.

Top 5 little-known facts about me
1. My birth certificate says that my name has a "Claudio"
2. Before winning my first math contest, my first choice for a college course used to be fine arts.
3. I can't curl my toungue like normal people do. But I can fold it laterally.
4. I know how to bake macaroons.
5. I can hear myself snore, and it always wakes me up.

2004-01-28T15:14:00.000+08:00

A friend from Shell sent me this piece.

The Rigged Trade Game
NYTimes - Opinion Section July 20, 2003

Put simply, the Philippines got taken. A charter member of the World Trade Organization in 1995, the former American colony dutifully embraced globalization's free-market gospel over the last decade, opening its economy to foreign trade and investment. Despite widespread worries about their ability to compete, Filipinos bought the theory that their farmers' lack of good transportation and high technology would be balanced out by their cheap labor. The government predicted that access to world markets would create a net gain of a half-million farming jobs a year, and improve the country's trade balance.

It didn't happen. Small-scale farmers across the Philippine archipelago have discovered that their competitors in places like the United States or Europe do not simply have better seeds, fertilizers and equipment. Their products are also often protected by high tariffs, or underwritten by massive farm subsidies that make them artificially cheap. No matter how small a wage Filipino workers are willing to accept, they cannot compete with agribusinesses afloat on billions of dollars in government welfare. "Farmers in the United States get help every step of the way," says Rudivico Mamac, a very typical, and very poor, Filipino sharecropper, whose 12-year-old son is embarrassed that his family cannot afford to buy him a ballpoint pen or notebooks for school.

The same sad story repeats itself around the globe, as poor countries trying to pull themselves into the world market come up against the richest nations' insistence on stacking the deck for their own farmers. President Bush deserves credit for traveling to Africa and trying to focus attention on that continent's plight. But meanwhile, struggling African cotton farmers are forced to compete with products from affluent American agribusinesses whose rock-bottom prices are made possible by as much as $3 billion in annual subsidies. Sugar producers in Africa are stymied by the European Union's insistence on subsidizing beet sugar production as part of a wasteful farming-welfare program that gobbles up half its budget.

Instead of making any gains, the Philippines has lost hundreds of thousands of farming jobs since joining the W.T.O. Its modest agricultural trade surpluses of the early 1990's have turned into deficits. Filipinos, who like referring to their history as a Spanish and American colony as "three centuries in the convent followed by fifty years in Hollywood," increasingly view the much-promoted globalization as a new imperialism. Despair in the countryside feeds a number of potent anti-government insurgencies. Leaders who hitched their political fortunes to faith in the free market have grown bitter.

They include Fidel Ramos, who was Washington's staunch ally when he managed the Philippines' economic opening as president in the mid-1990's. Now, Mr. Ramos blames rich nations' unfair trade practices - especially their "hidden farm subsidies and other tricks" - for much of the suffering in the countryside. Given how long the world's economic powers have been trying to persuade the rest of the world to embrace a more open global economy, Mr. Ramos said in an interview, he was taken aback by their unwillingness to level the competitive playing field. "Poor countries cannot afford to be on the short end of this deal for long," he said. "People are in real need. People are dying."

Mr. Ramos's plea could have emanated from any number of countries in the developing world, home to 96 percent of the world's farmers. It is a plea that needs to be heeded, before it is too late.

The United States, Europe and Japan funnel nearly a billion dollars a day to their farmers in taxpayer subsidies. These farmers say they will not be able to stay in business if they are left at the mercy of wildly fluctuating prices and are forced to compete against people in places like the Philippines, who are happy to work in the fields for a dollar a day. So the federal government writes out checks to Iowa corn farmers to supplement their income, and at times insures them against all sorts of risks assumed by any other business. This allows American companies to then profitably dump grain on international markets for a fraction of what it cost to grow, courtesy of the taxpayer, often at a price less than the break-even point for the impoverished third-world farmers. If all else fails, wealthy nations simply throw up trade barriers to lock out foreign commodities.

The system is sold to the American taxpayer as a way of preserving the iconic family farm, which does face tough times and deserves plenty of empathy, but it in fact helps corporate agribusiness interests the most.

By rigging the global trade game against farmers in developing nations, Europe, the United States and Japan are essentially kicking aside the development ladder for some of the world's most desperate people. This is morally depraved. By our actions, we are harvesting poverty around the world.

Hypocrisy compounds the outrage. The United States and Europe have mastered the art of forcing open poor nations' economies to imported industrial goods and services. But they are slow to reciprocate when it comes to farming, where poorer nations can often manage, in a fair game, to compete. Globalization, it turns out, can be a one-way street.

The glaring credibility gap dividing the developed world's free-trade talk from its market-distorting actions on agriculture cannot be allowed to continue. While nearly one billion people struggle to live on $1 a day, European Union cows net an average of $2 apiece in government subsidies. Japan, a country that prospered like no other by virtue of its ability to gain access to foreign markets for its televisions and cars, retains astronomical rice tariffs. The developed world's $320 billion in farm subsidies last year dwarfed its $50 billion in development assistance. President Bush's pledge to increase foreign aid was followed by his signing of a farm bill providing $180 billion in support to American farmers over the next decade.

A fair shot, more than charity, is what poor nations need. According to International Monetary Fund estimates, a repeal of all rich-country trade barriers and subsidies to agriculture would improve global welfare by about $120 billion. An uptick of only 1 percent in Africa's share of world exports would amount to $70 billion a year, some five times the amount provided to the region in aid and debt relief.

The rigged game is sowing ever-greater resentment toward the United States, the principal architect of the global economic order. In the aftermath of 9/11, Americans have desperately been trying to win the hearts and minds of poor residents of the Muslim world. Somehow, we expect other nations to take our claims to stand for democracy and freedom more seriously than they must take our insincere free-trade rhetoric.

The beleaguered Philippine island of Mindanao is crawling with Communist and Islamic fundamentalist guerrillas, and links between Al Qaeda and the local insurgents have made the island a battlefield in President Bush's war on terrorism. There is talk of sending in American troops. But to farmers on Mindanao, home to more than two-thirds of the Philippines' corn production, subsidized American imports loom as large as any other threat. Since the Philippines joined the W.T.O. eight years ago, American corn growers have received an astonishing $34.5 billion in taxpayer support, according to an analysis of government data by the Washington-based Environmental Working Group. This helps explain how America is able to export - the less polite word in the patois of trade would be dump - corn at only two-thirds its cost of production.

The resentment is intense. "The common view here is that the United States, our former colonial master, is a destructive force," said Lito Lao, the chairman of the Alliance of Farmers group in the Mindanao province of Davao Oriental. Farmers' despair, he adds, fuels the Marxist New People's Army insurgency.

The global economy is supposed to change the world for people like Rudi and Nelly Mamac, who live with their seven children in a two-room shack on the edge of a massive plantation in Davao Oriental. The Mamacs are lucky if they clear the equivalent of $1 a day. Mr. Mamac, the sharecropper, was ready to imagine the better future promised by the great global trade game. He wishes he could afford a television and, when drawing a blank upon being asked about life beyond his corn-and-coconut-filled existence, he will wave vaguely, somewhat apologetically, toward the corner of their living space where they imagine the tube should stand.

But none of their dreams are happening. Arnel Mamac, 12, already skips plenty of school days, when his family cannot afford to buy rice. His parents don't want him making the two-mile trek on an empty stomach. One thing the Mamacs seem to realize, even without the benefit of a TV, is that the global economy they are forced to compete in is no level playing field. "It's very unfair that the American government takes so much care of its farmers while abusing those in the third world," Mr. Mamac says.

The United States and its wealthy allies will not eradicate poverty - or defeat terrorism, for that matter ? by conspiring to deprive the world's poor farmers of even the most modest opportunities. And the threat of a devastating antiglobalization backlash set off by a widespread resentment of "northern" trade practices is enormous. Acknowledging the imminent crisis, W.T.O. negotiators labeled the current round of trade liberalization talks, begun in Doha, Qatar, in late 2001, the "development round." Any success depends on a commitment by the United States, Europe and Japan to reduce barriers to agricultural imports by 2005, and to cut subsidies. But several deadlines have already been missed. The European Union and Japan are particularly reluctant to make the painful reforms needed to make trade a meaningful two-way street, and the Bush administration has little credibility to prod them along, given its own outrageous farm subsidies. So a crucial September meeting of the W.T.O. in Cancún threatens to be a reprise of its Seattle meeting in 1999, when the last round of trade-liberalization talks stalled, and protesters outside famously threw their anti-globalization fest.

Back on Mindanao, it's a shame Rudivico Mamac cannot have his TV set to watch all those trade delegates gather in picturesque Cancún come September. After all, what they really will be discussing, notwithstanding all the mind-numbing trade jargon, is whether a global economy has room for the world's poorest farmers.

//sweetcakes and milkshakes

2004-01-27T11:15:00.000+08:00

Here's a poem from the movie "Before Sunrise," one of the best movies I've seen. There's a sequel coming in 2004, entitled "Before Sunset." Hope it'll be worth the 9 year wait.

In the movie, this was the piece written by the poet beside the Danube.

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and MILKSHAKES (laughs)
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I'll carry you. You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me (poet hands poem back)
Don't you know me by now

//fichures!

2004-01-22T08:36:00.000+08:00

fraternity brothers at almer's wedding...

a classic refinery geeks class pic....

cleanup divers (yes, i'm there somewhere...)

never... ever... drink and dive...

//top 10 reasons to date a MECHANICAL engineer:

2004-01-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

oh yes, i came up with this one boring day at work...

10. We understand the kinematics of moving bodies.

9. We know why objects undergo gyration.

8. We can move fluids using pumping motion and convert heat using reciprocating motion.

7. We invented the screw.

6. We recognize clearances and adhere to tolerances when it comes to fits and measures.

5. While a diamond is a woman's best friend, to us it's just an element.

4. Brinell hardness test. =D

3. We do not just play with fire. We USE fire.

2. We know how to look for the critical points.

1. We never make anything move without lubrication.

2004-01-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

"It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone."

-Nick Hornby, How to Be Good

//brownian thoughts on a wedding

2004-01-08T18:01:00.000+08:00

Almer, my best friend, got married yesterday.

His decision to get married somehow seemed like watching him relocate from one big room where single people live together and party all night long and have coffee afterwards, to another room just across ours, where married couples do their laundry, feed milk to their children, and make grocery lists. And over the last five or so years, I have seen friends, classmates, drinking buddies, and oh-my-golly-wow, old girlfriends, pack up and go. Some hastily, and a some with dreamy, love-shot eyes. Everytime this happens, friends from both rooms would dress up, gather around, drink wine, and exchange tales about places, faces, and little feet.

Yesterday, my friend finally picked up his bags, and I was the one who walked with him to the door. I stood at the altar, right beside him, as we watched his bride walk down the aisle, wearing a veil that failed to hide the tears in her eyes.

As I walked back, the faces of friends who used to live with us in our big room but have chosen to move out not too long ago, flashed inside my head. RB, who used to be a bully back in Pisay, and the butt of our jokes, is now all excited and proud about the baby who is coming in about 6 months. Arnie, one of the bad boys of our batch, is now father to 2 lovely daughters. Lani, the first person to love me in a romantic way, she used to paint the town red along with her friends, but she now hardly ever stays out after 10 pm because she's always worried about her son. Patrick, my Machine Design partner and batchmate, whose son, Mateo, is now my Godson. And there's Jun, my co-kiddo and idealist in second year high, whose 3-month old daughter just underwent a successful surgery.

Today, I go back to the life I've lived and this room. As I look around me, I realize that as much as I have spent most of last year's vacation leaves just to attend friend's weddings, a good number of us still remain behind. I do remember that as of our last high school reunion, people were already starting to show off photographs of their kids, but I also do recall that most of us still lived in a world of overpriced late-night coffee and beer. I just can't help but wonder how long this is going to last. I just can't help but wonder if the time will ever come when friends and loved ones will dress up, gather around, drink wine and exchange stories, because I invited them to walk with me towards the door.

...the best man raises his glass

2004-01-08T17:58:00.000+08:00

Almer asked me to deliver a speech for the usual ceremonies last night. I never liked pre-writing my speeches, being the spontaneous, and usually unprepared crammer that I am. So, from the time I put on my Barong, up until dinner, I wrote the piece in my head, in imaginary bulletpoints. I was lucky that the the bride's best friend, the Matron of Honor went first. It bought me time to give structure to what I wanted to say.

Here goes, as downloaded from inside my cluttered head...

"Almer and I have known each other since we were 12 years old, and though it seemed like ages, we became best friends only after we joined the fraternity. We went to the same high school, took up college in the same university, the only university our families could afford for us, joined the same fraternity, the same organizations, and at one point became roommates after we were kicked out of our dorms. It was in that small boarding house in Project 6 that we built our friendship, as we'd sing Apo Hiking songs over the the guitar, and talk about life as it takes each of us by surprise. Almost every night, we would talk to each other about things that bother us, questions that neither of us could answer, and we'd often wonder about the one thing that we both fear: the future. He'd always tell me about all the girls he was courting, and ask me for my opinion on each of them. Just kidding, Kath. And always, we would end up talking about this very day. And we were both scared of getting married, as we could only guess the amount of emotional preparation one has to make to finally give himself up to one person for the rest of his life. I am glad and overwhelmed, that Almer has finally crossed over and made that decision.

If there was one thing I have always known about Almer, it would be the fact that he is the kind of person who never makes a decision without pondering over the options and consequences a million times over. Each and every choice he has made was for a good reason: When he chose to study in Pisay, it was because he wanted to secure a better future. When he took up college in UP, it was to get the best education there is (oops, sorry, Ateneans...). When he joined the fraternity, it was because he wanted to expand his horizons. When he chose to work for Accenture, it was for a fruitful and challenging career. Not too long ago, he made the biggest decision of his life. And as always, it was for a good reason. And it shows with the way he beams now: that he is truly, and deeply in love with Kath.

This afternoon, I stood beside him as his best man. And it made me feel honored to be chosen as the last person to walk with him before he takes his next step as a married man.

I was able to look up the traditional meaning of what a best man is. In the medieval times, he is supposed stand with the groom at all times, and help him protect his bride from barbarians and raiders, in case they plan to take her away. Almer and Kath, I would like to take that challenge to heart, and tell you that in all trials that may come your way, now that you are one, I will still stand beside you and still and always be your best man."

//random motion

2003-12-30T16:43:00.000+08:00

******************
What a great Fantasy NBA day today! Jamal Crawford posting a career high 12 assists, Kirk Hinrich with four treys from outside the arc, Antonio Davis posting a double-double performance, Ben Wallace with 18 caroms, Andrei Kirilenko (AK-47) posting 15 points, 7 rebounds, 2 steals and 4 blocks, and my rebounding small guy Quentin Richardson leading the Clippers with 24 points, 12 rebounds. What more can I ask for? A lot. For Allen Iverson and Gilbert Arenas to start playing again (mahn, just when Arenas was having a breakout season, and the Answer leading the league in scoring and in steals), for someone to offer a good trade for Theo Ratliff (It's nice to have him around, being the second best shot blocker and all... but Wallace and Kirilenko are 1 and 3 respectively, and they're both fantasy beasts), and for Antonio McDyess to finally get back to his old slamma-jamma self. I'm still 6th ouf of 10 teams in the Buko league. Not good enough. Wasted a damn pick on Darko Milicic who turned out to be Detroit's sitting duck.

********************
Had a nice cyber-conversation with a friend yesterday.

My favorite yosi partner, even as we work 120 kilometers apart, has always been talkative. We talk a lot, but she nevers talks about herself. Yesterday, she opened up a bit.

Tragedy has a way of shaping us, and helping us discover our true selves. The way people react to life's surprises, from minor bumps in the road to a life-changing intersection with sorrow, says a lot.

My friend, she's trying to be strong. Maybe she is strong, but as I found out in one of college's toughest engineering subjects, there's such a thing as a fatigue limit. "A metal will eventually reach failure when subjected to repeated loads, depending on the magnitude of that load, and on the material composition of the object."

She talked about the toughest load she carries upon her shoulders. Not too long ago, she was telling me about how difficult it was to keep up with people's expectations. How it sometimes wekaens the soul to always pretend to be strong, when deep inside, the spirit is about to cave in. Yesterday, she talked about her life, and I was glad she trusted me. i could only hope that by being there, I was able to help her extend her fatigue limit.

People are like metals. Once subjected to extreme conditions, people change. Like in metallurgy, there's a delicate combination of temperature and time that will determine whether or not the material will change into something softer, something hard but very brittle, or into something tough and strong.

I know now that my friend is like stainless steel. Tempered, but strong. Light, but tough. Shiny and bright, and will stand the test of time.

Happy Birthday, stainless steel friend. =)